Faith with a Purpose

Last weekend I had the opportunity to tune in to General Conference, a chance to hear the leaders of the Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) and listen to their counsel. There were a few talks that stood out to me, especially in this time of my life where I’m going through something I’ve never imagined myself having to conquer.

One of the talks that stood out the most to me was “Has the Day of Miracles Ceased?” by Elder Donald L. Hallstrom. I can easily answer that question: No. No the day of miracles has most definitely not ceased, I am proof of modern day miracles. My story is laced with many miracles, small and large, all for which I am incredibly grateful. I do, however,  find myself guilty at times of the very thought process he poses:

“A critical question to ponder is “Where do we place our faith?” Is our faith focused on simply wanting to be relieved of pain and suffering, or is it firmly centered on God the Father and His holy plan and in Jesus the Christ and His Atonement? Faith in the Father and the Son allows us to understand and accept Their will as we prepare for eternity.”

When I was initially diagnosed and given the option of surgery, I thought, “I just need to get this over with so I can move on with my life. Get this stupid tumor out and move on.”. As I contemplated my diagnosis and remembered the many priesthood blessings I had received, I knew that was not the right mindset to have. I realized quickly that I needed to view this tumor as more than a bump in the road of life. I knew I needed to share my story, grow from my story, and be strengthened through faith in my Savior and His plan for me.

Now, faith needs constant care and attention. I notice those times when I’m not nurturing my faith like I should, and it is usually pretty obvious because of the fear that sneaks in to my mind as trials get tougher or take a turn I’m not prepared for. There are times now, post surgery, where I just want headaches to end or bending over to not cause my brain to feel like it’s exploding. These are times where I focus more on the having faith to be relieved of pain and suffering than centering my faith on God the Father and His holy plan. It’s also these times that I am consumed by my trials and focus on myself rather than focus on helping others. When I share my experience in a way that is to show there is hope that things will get better, I notice that my faith is strengthened and I am reminded that I can get through this, I am not alone, and I can help others.

Trials are never meant to be easy. They are always going to be a struggle. It’s how we face them that matters. I know that I am lifted up when I turn to my Father in Heaven through prayer, sharing my testimony, and reading/listening to scriptures and messages from church leaders.

I am grateful for this trial. I really am. I know it can make me a stronger mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, and just all around person; if I just remember to have the correct intentions behind my faith.